Have you ever felt like the life you’re living is not yours? This is really not how you pictured living your life at all. Remember when you were young and you had such great and mighty dreams and you pictured your life being so grand and beautiful? Or was that just me? You saw yourself living in this big house with a big yard, driving the car of your dreams and getting the most out of your life. I must admit I saw all these things for myself. I saw a big house, fancy car, married with beautiful kids and having the means to do more with my life.
In all this, I never pictured a life full of disappointment and constant hurt and confusion. I never pictured a life where I felt I had no other choice but to endure what was coming my way. People say you have the power to change your circumstances by the things you do or say, but have you ever felt this was just words being said to make you feel worse about your circumstance? What if you have been trying your best, does it mean it hasn’t been good enough? Does it mean you are a loser and have no hopes and ambitions? It is in these times that I ask myself if God is testing me or it’s the devil playing cruel tricks on me.
In times like these I find myself constantly battling to keep my faith strong. The hurt and disappointment grows into giants. It must be how the spies sent out by Israel to spy out Canaan felt. Numbers 13 31 But the men that went up with him said, we be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we. 32 And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had searched unto the children of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to search it, is a land that eateth up the inhabitants thereof; and all the people that we saw in it are men of a great stature. 33 And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight. It was one man who had faith, only one who saw things different. Caleb the son of Jephunneh, of the tribe of Judah, in Numbers 13 verse 30 And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.
Sometimes the trials feel like they are giants and I am just a grasshopper. But I pray that God gives me strength to be like Caleb.
Luke 17: 6 And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.
Just Me.... 