Audience of One

Something to think about…

Chris Martin Writes

I’ve been a Christian since 1992, but I am finally starting to realize what that title truly means. For many years, I read the script and played the role, but it was methodical, robotic at best. I knew the key Bible verses and all the “Christian” buzz words, but I was merely going through the motions. The reality of the Gospel was just a foreign concept to me. It was something the missionaries in Africa were doing.

I didn’t have a spiritual walk, it was more like a spiritual fetal position. I couldn’t even consider it a crawl.

I knew something had to happen, a change needed to take place in my life. I began to realize that I was doing absolutely nothing to further the Kingdom of God and share the Gospel with other people. And that’s not okay. If we are born again, claiming to be a follower…

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Mourning Into Dancing

My daughter is sleeping right now. As I look at her I can’t help thinking that she looks so much like the baby I lost. Everything looks almost the same, especially the eyes. She reminds me so much of the son I lost. I can’t help imagine what it would have been like if he had survived. Would I still have had Tamara or she wouldn’t be here? One thing I am certain of is that I am happy I decided to try again. I am happy I didn’t give up after the disappointment and hurt I went through. I am grateful God blessed me with a beautiful little girl that fills my life with joy. God has surely given me beauty for ashes, He has turned my mourning into dancing!

I had lost all hope and had vowed I wouldn’t do it again. I told myself I wouldn’t survive another pregnancy and the possibility of losing another baby. God gave me the courage to try again. Fear threatened to overwhelm me during my second pregnancy but I did not give in. When the time to give birth came, I was so nervous I passed out during surgery but only after I had heard my baby cry. I woke up as they wheeled me to the recovery room. They brought my baby to me and all I could say was oh my!

God is forever good and faithful!