Today, 9 February, is the day that I lost my baby two years ago. It is a day that I wish to forget but cannot. It is permanently stamped on my mind. It is easier to relive the events of that day though. God has been my rock and strength. And He turned my mourning into dancing, my sorrow into joy, by blessing me with a wonderful daughter whom I love with all my heart.
I praise God, my Father, the Creator of the Heavens and the earth, for all He has done for me.
Being a mum is a blessing and such a joy. I remember the day she was born as the happiest day of my life. Up till now it has been such a joy having Tamara in my life. She’s so full of energy and joy, and it’s infectious….maybe not the full of energy part but certainly the joy. I find myself laughing even when I don’t want to. I find my heart so full of happiness without even searching hard for happiness. My life has truly changed.
When she looks into my eyes my heart melts. She wakes up in the morning with a smile for me that just truly blesses me. She holds onto me and doesn’t want to be too far from me. I must admit, it feels good to know that someone loves and needs me that much. I wish I could capture each moment forever.
The Lord has truly blessed me.
Being a mother is a very rewarding and unique experience, especially for a full time mum. You get to experience every single moment of your child’s life and you get to learn a lot about them and your self. It is both wonderful and a little scary that someone trusts you to protect them and to make the right decision for them. My daughter recently reached the 4 month milestone. It has been a great 4 months filled with ups and downs and I have enjoyed every single moment of it. Some moments haven’t been much fun, but at the end of the day you reflect on it, smile about it and move on.
My daughter recently did something she has never done before and it got me thinking a little. We had spent most of the day together as we usually do, playing and having fun. Towards the end of the day though, things just changed. Seemed my daughter became upset about something and became fussy, nothing I did consoled her. Her father eventually came back from work, and things changed again. She changed back into this happy and energetic girl full of giggles in his arms. For the bulk of the evening she refused for me to hold her and wouldn’t even smile at me. I must admit, this stung a little! How could she reject me like that? Especially after I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. At the end of the evening she did come back to me, and was back to her usual bubbly self with me.
It got me thinking about my Father, the Creator of the Heavens and the earth. If my daughter’s rejection hurt me like that, how much more it must hurt my Father when I reject Him. Especially since He doesn’t deserve it. All He does is pour His love on me. Such a small incident in my everyday life brought me such a huge understanding of what it must be like.
Truly, being a parent is teaching me more stuff than I thought it would.