Does it ever stop?

I hate going back to this because it’s in the past now, but one can never forget or ever really get over the loss of a baby. One way or another it always finds its way back into your mind and affects the way you respond to stuff. I have been enjoying my life with my beautiful daughter Tamara. I can’t say things have been smooth flowing but so far I’ve been enjoying having her in my life and haven’t known love like this. Today I found myself in a state of panic and back in the place I was when I lost my first baby. I found my baby struggling to breathe and I must say I was filled with so much fear. Minor as it was, at the time it felt huge. My mind was filled with thoughts of losing Tamara I couldn’t think straight. I guess it will always be a part of my life. I can only pray for calm and peace of mind. I pray that I am able to stay calm when it matters most.

Job 13: 5 O that ye would altogether hold your peace! And it should be your wisdom.

No greater love…

I havent posted anything in the last two months, my daughter has kept me so busy. In this time I have learnt love beyond what I can imagine. I love my daughter so much it’s unbelievable. It got me thinking about how much God loves us. Isaiah 49:15 KJV reads Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. If I being human love my daughter so much how much more does God love me? If I cannot imagine my life without my daughter, how much more does my Father in heaven care for me?

Being a mother has only given me a tiny glimpse of how much God must care for me. In John 3: 16 we read of how God gave His only Son to die on the cross for me. There is no greater love than this!